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A to Z of climbing

7 summits Seven tourist traps.

Acht a Flemish grown-up talk for one thousand million billion.

Bouldering Rebellion that broke off from traditional climbing halfway the 20th century, rejecting the doctrine of route length supremacy and differing in theories of worship, ecclesiastical polity and matters of apostolic succession. Bouldering is often taunted by other branches... admittedly from a safe distance. Boulderers disagree among themselves regarding the number of grade sacraments, the scale of use and the real presence of original beta.

Crux 1) Core 2) Core problem 3) Bottleneck 4) Cross 5) Hard to solve problem, yeah this is a serious article 6) a vital or decisive stage, point. Associated terminology: Crux Focus Syndrome, also known as Kainz' disease; crymber;...

Dark bluepointing Looking up at a route and seeing that you could actually well do it so you kind of did it. Tick it off.

European Death Knot Unnecessary child-like North-American reaction to our techniques in Europe because we on the contrary were right of calling out their American Death Triangle, yikes, how there's still Americans alive, I don't know!

Font Place where it feels like before you've been climbing with cheats which suddenly don't work anymore.. 5c is the new 8a.

Gaston A shoulder move that papa and mama Rebuffat named their baby after.

Handjam Because headjam is even more painful.

Icicles A tufa for your inner polar bear.

JAAAAP??! STAND!! D*mnit, I think the army of Willem II Prince of Orange is coming and has delegated a well-oiled accidentfactory. This fear stems from a cultural difference between people who climb on the one hand, and kids from climbing themed drinking clubs from the north on the other.

Klimpolies Secretive climbing police surveilling sitstarts, dabs and pr(inc)e(ss)clips.

Ledge A momentary glitch in time and space where one can hide from gravity.

Mama Command in case of trouble on a multipitch.

Never Amount of times you say you will do it again, immediately after finishing a cold alpine distant adventure.

Onsightseeing Climbing only comfortable grades. Associated jargon: boyfriend/girfriend crags (when a lover climbs only softer grades (yet) and the other half ends up in crags with only routes in this range).

Pumped A grade of sourness normally only known among Marcel and Josiane who look dirty at the neighbours because they have a tree with a branch that may hang over their property and they have a Dacia Sandero, how can they pay for that?!

Quiche What you have to buy at the bakery near Fontainebleau when someone says we don't have spread for the bread and the bakery has only sweet pastry and they don't like that.

Runouts Exams for guardian angels.

Sabetage Ever tried something hard and you were on your way to onsight? But on the ground they're shouting that you really shouldn't go on? But that you should try to replicate their vague beta? And you try? And you fall? Second go, you go your own way and send smoothly? Poor girl/boy, you've been the victim of sabetage.

Tufa Because just secretly hugging rocks is not socially accepted yet.

Unsight You go into something which before you succeeded in onsighting, but now you fly out, then unfortunately we have to inform you that you unsighted the route.

Vermaledijde Exclamation in case of dismay when you don't find your hold getting pumped way above your last piece of protection.

What do you climb? Beginner's smalltalk which should not be answered with plastic/lime/crack/trad but more like the questions on family parties inquiring what your job is and how much you earn.

X-grading A sport grade including a natural selection component.

Yosemite Where a climber goes to after life when the climber didn't pull too many draws and courageously climbed X-graded routes.

Z-clip An M-clip variant in which one sticks to one route.